Most of the people know Michael Jackson and he is my model. I love him not only because of his dancing skills and the way he sings but also because of his benevolent heart that influences listeners' hearts with music.
When I was very young, my brother brought me a VCD of Michael Jackson. We shared the VCD on TV and soon my brother and I fell in love with him. Every MTV that Michael Jackson made was fantastic and when I finished watching, I could never forget it, not even the very detailed parts. People call him “King of Pop” and that was what I wanted to say because he invented the unique and marvelous dancing style by himself. My brother loved his dancing style and tried to learn it after he watched the first MTV called “Black and White”, and guess what? Now he is a famous dancer in one of the best dancing universities in China, called “Zhong Xi”.
What about me? Actually, I started to loved music when I heard his songs. The song always touches my heart. It is called “Childhood”. Because his voice was very high and even girls can't reach so I started to sing. My mother said that I had an awesome voice when I was singing “Childhood”. She knew that I had the intelligence on singing and she sent me to study music. The only reason that I could carry on learning music was because of Michael Jackson, who encouraged me on every step of my way. I always remember the persistent soul that Michael Jackson has. And now, I am a well known singer in the school.
His song, “heal the world” made me elated. I love it because he made it with his true heart. He was a very kind person who loved children and patients and he used his money which earned by his songs to save those people in poverty and people who went through catastrophes like earth quake. This music he made for the people who loved peace and he wanted people to know through this song that wars don't make anything better. They only bring disasters and many people die in the fighting. I have been in love with this song for about 15 years and now I still love it. The song is like a bible to me and it purifies my heart whenever I need it.
I changed the way that I love music and now I know that only music which made by heart can affect me. Michael Jackson, a legend person of pop music, influences me by every step of my life and I changed from a little girl who didn't know the world so well, to a big girl who now loves music and knows she will continue learning, learning the music that she doesn’t know and learning the new world with her kind heart, affected by Michael Jackson’s music.
Good work! This is starting to shape up. =)
ReplyDeleteI like where this essay is going... very creative and very heart-warming/heart-felt story.
However, you can still tighten up your writing. You need to work on unity and coherence between your ideas. This is supposed to be an "essay", so you need to be a bit more formal...and less colloquial. Sometimes it feels like you are writing a blog or a letter to a friend. Try to be a bit more formal... and push towards the topic a bit more.
I do like the way you are trying to use the vocabulary in your writing. Well done!